Someone Who Understands
by EE's Skysong
Summary: When I look in her eyes, I feel like everything's going to be all right, I really do.' If only they could say that now. Roxas x Naminé, not quite canon.


Disclaimer: "There's no time for us The world has only one sweet moment set aside for us"

(An: This really doesn't fit in with the timeline of things in the game. This is just what I wish would have happened. Roxas and Naminé were just so _mature_ about the whole thing, and I think they got the shaft. _Mucho_ angst ahead.)

Riku kneels beside me. His expression is always the same: a sort of confused kindness, like he cares but doesn't know why. I know why. And I wish he would look at me and see _me_, not my whole self- but that would never happen. He cares about her too much to ever think of what I might want.

It's… sweet, I suppose. But to me it only tastes bitter.

"You haven't drawn Sora in a while," he comments.

He's only trying to be nice- he's the only person who's ever bothered - and I try to be nice back, but I'm too… what? I can't be angry. I can't be _anything_. All I have are shadows. I crumple the page and throw it over my shoulder. "I haven't felt like it," I mutter. I'm glad DiZ wasn't here to hear that. I know what I am- he doesn't have to always remind me.

Riku looks at me mildly, as though he can sense the conflict in my- but I don't have a heart to _be_ conflicted. I look down at my hands- always, always drawing, even when I'm not watching them- and realize I've drawn a Heartless symbol. I guess it's obvious what I'm thinking about. I toss this drawing aside, too; no reason to alienate the only person who at least pretends to care about me in this whole mess.

"I just… I'm glad things are going back to normal…"Even though every memory recovered is one more step toward Roxas's end… and mine. "But… would it really be too much to ask for me to feel something of my own, instead of just through his memories?" I realize what I've said and glance at him, but Riku's expression hasn't changed.

He rests a hand on my shoulder. Riku never says much, but that's all right with me- better than DiZ, who never stops talking. Besides, he doesn't have to tell me anything- I know he understands at least part of it. Who else could wonder as much as I have about the consequences of his decisions, both good and bad?

"Thanks," I mumble. Being near him makes me feel a little better - because of his link to her, probably. I bite back a sigh. "It's getting late. Is it okay if I go to bed?"

Riku smiles- just a little, but it's still more of a one than I've seen on him in person. "Of course."

O-o-O-o-O

"Where's your head, Roxas?" Hayner demands. I throw my hands up to block the smack I know is coming.

"Right where it belongs," I reply, turning away from him. I want to think. But Hayner doesn't like being ignored. This time he manages to hit me. "Ow!"

"Whatcha thinking about, Roxas?" He sticks his face next to mine. I narrow my eyes, and he scoots back just a little; he knows I hit harder. "It's a girl, isn't it?" He pauses, frowning. "Better not be Olette!"

I laugh. A love triangle has more than enough sides. Pence and Hayner can fight over her all they like; she's not who I'm thinking about. I know that something's not right, but I don't know what it is- and I don't think I really want to. It's a lot more pleasant to dwell on the girl: Naminé. She's pretty, and so _clean_- cleaner even than Olette, who always looks like she's just walked out of the shower.

I know. It's a weird thing to think about. But I don't know much else about her, except that's she's trouble: since I saw her, things haven't been the same. And they won't be. But… for all that… I like her. I really do. Things have gotten so strange, but… I don't know. When I look in her eyes, I feel like everything's going to be all right, I really do.

O-o-O-o-O

Nobodies can dream, you know. I'm sure DiZ would tell me I'm only deluding myself, but it's true. Roxas dreams, too- although he only dreams of the memories I put in his head. I don't know about the other Nobodies; we're unique, after all, him and I- or as . unique as parts of regular people can be.

I have only one real dream, and that is to become whole.

But since I spoke to him, showed him the path that he must take to be real, I've had other dreams, too, dreams that give me hope. Nobodies have hope- that's what this whole mess with Organization XIII is about, isn't it?

I wonder, sometimes, if he has the same dreams between the memories that I show him. It's a pleasant thought, since they are pleasant dreams: his arms around me, his lips against my hair, his smile in the half-light between the real world and the false.

I used to have similar dreams about Sora, but I prefer these. I know now that I love Sora only because my whole self loves him. My feelings for Roxas may just exist because he is Sora's Nobody, but they are _my_ feelings. No matter what anyone says about Nobodies, no matter what the truth is, I know that I care about him- that I, Naminé, the memory witch, care for Roxas because he is _him,_ Roxas, the Keyblade wielder. It is a truth I know down to my bones, just like I know it's something no one can take away from me.

If I could feel despair, that would be the only thing keeping me from plunging into it.

O-o-O-o-O

It's silly to dream about a girl who's trying to ruin my life, I know. But at least she seems to be doing it to help me, not herself.

"You're awfully quiet tonight," she murmurs, nudging me with her shoulder.

She's right. Naminé won't tell me the stories she knows- maybe because I don't know her well enough to invent them for her, maybe because she doesn't have any- so I usually spend the night telling her all of mine. "I was just thinking."

"About what?" She has a lovely smile.

I turn away. I've learned so much, and all of it does nothing but trouble me. So much that not even her pretty face can distract me from it. "That girl… Kairi… if she's so important to Sora, why am I only learning about her now?"

Naminé flinches at the mention of her name and turns her back to mine when I ask about her. "I don't want to talk about her."

I glance at her. She sounds… angry. Bitter, almost. And it confuses the hell out of me. "Why not? You never complain when I mention other stuff about Sora."

Naminé hugs herself. "I don't need a reminder of what I am. And Kairi is nothing but."

I grab her shoulder and turn her to face me. "What, pretty?" Naminé blinks. Obviously, this was the last thing she was expecting me to say- the last thing _I _was expecting me to say. I guess Olette's right. I'm a flirt.

Embarrassment does war with a thousand other emotions on Naminé's face. Then tears appear in her eyes. "This is all my fault," she whispers.

O-o-O-o-O

Even an unpleasant dream of Roxas is still a dream of him, something of my own, but I make myself wake up anyway. These are questions I don't want to answer, things I don't want to go further into. They just depress me. I sweep the hair out of my face.

Despite myself, I can't help wondering if the way Roxas looks at me is only because he sees Kairi in me... but he's only learned about her now, and he's been looking at me that way from the first time he saw me. Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. I don't know.

Oh, this is driving me crazy! Why did I have to be the only Nobody who met up with the boy her whole self is in love with- me, the only one of us who can think and still accepts my situation?

...oh, but that's a lie. I don't, not at all- or, at least, not when I'm standing behind Roxas. Then I can't imagine that my feelings are nothing but hollow echoes of what they're really supposed to be.

I should never have spoken to him. I should have listened to DiZ and just stayed quiet. But… he needed my help. No one else was going to tell him where to start looking for the answers to his problems. No one else cared. Even Riku, who at least cared about his welfare, only bothered because of Sora.

But I… I want him to be all right. I care about him because he was himself, not a shadow of Sora- and there are differences between them. I'd seen it while I was sorting through Sora's memories. I… I… oh. It's just not fair.

I wait a little while, until I'm calmer. And then I stretch out and go back to sleep.

Roxas is inbetween memories right now, so I can approach him again. He smiles when he sees me- I don't think he was expecting me again. "Hey."

I walk over and take his hands in mine. Roxas blinks at me, but then he relaxes and sits down in the sand, pulling me down beside him. It's not the most romantic of places, but that's okay. "I want to tell you a story this time," I murmur, turning his hands over in mine. "About Kairi, and Sora, and just how much they were willing to do for each other…"

Roxas's eyes never leave mine as I talk, but I can't tell what he's thinking. When I finish, he frowns and looks down at our joined hands. "So what happens to us when… when we find them?"

I smile, even though the thought doesn't make me happy at all. "We get to be whole again. We don't have to be alone anymore."

Roxas's frown deepens. "But we're not alone. I mean- I don't know about you, but I have friends-"

"They aren't _your_ friends, Roxas." I let my head sink onto my chest. Suddenly, even though I'm sleeping, I am so very tired. This all… it just can't work and be fair to everyone. It's awful. "They're just copies. I told you. I mean… they care about you, but it's just something we did to keep you happy while you were here."

Roxas considers this. He looks like he's about to say something else, but then he lifts his head and looks at me. "I have you." Leaning closer to me, he lifts one of his hands and runs it along my face. "And if what you say is true-" I can tell that he believes me, even though he doesn't want to, "-then we belong together. We're… we're the only fit for each other."

I press my hand over his; the sensation is precious, and I want to remember it when I… what? There isn't any future for me, and even less for him. So I squeeze his hand, and I smile, but I don't say anything. It's useless now.

O-o-O-o-O

Naminé doesn't seem convinced. I'm not sold on the whole thing, either, but if this is all I have… hell, I don't even know if this is really happening. So either way, it doesn't matter what I do.

With a deep sigh, Naminé turns her head away- she looks like she's about to cry. I don't want her to: it won't help anything, and, in some strange way, seeing her sad… it hurts. I care about her. They might not be my feelings- and that, at least, makes sense, since I have no idea where all this affection for her came from- but that really doesn't make a difference.

She closes her eyes, and a few tears leak out. "Hey now, look sharp," I murmur, reaching over and wiping the tears off her cheeks. "If things are the way you say they are, then it'll be better once-" Even though I'm trying to console her, I still can't say that.

She understands; of course she does. If she's right, then she's the only person who really can. She rests her head on my shoulder and watches the waves drift in and out, but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to.

O-o-O-o-O

The next morning, I walk down to the pod room. I don't often go here; DiZ has made it clear that I am not welcome. But it's my mess, and it's not like Sora doesn't know who I am… or used to, anyway. The smooth metal warm to the touch, like it's alive. I fancy I can hear Sora breathing inside, lost in his pleasant slumber.

"I'm sorry I did this to you, Sora," I whisper, resting my head against the pod. My eyes narrow. "But you'd better do well. You'd better make the world right again for everyone else. If you do, I promise I'll go back to Kairi so you can be together." My hands clench into fists. I can't cry, but I wish so much that I could. My eyes sting, and my throat is locking up, but I can only cry in my dreams. After all, these aren't really my feelings, no matter how much it hurts.

"It has to be good for somebody, okay?" I whisper. "There has to be some good, because there wasn't any for us."

(I'm not quite sure if that accomplished what I wanted it to, but at least it's something.)

earHear


End file.
